


With a Little Mending it Could be as Good as New

by spoilersweetie



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 17:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoilersweetie/pseuds/spoilersweetie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sitting next to her on the cold step as she blows out another puff of smoke, Matt licks his lips, starting to feel a bit nervous around this sad, quiet Alex, sitting outside alone drinking and smoking when there was a party in full swing inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Dolly Parton's 'The Bargain Store'.

The Christmas party is in full swing at the BBC studios in Cardiff. Everyone is merry and having a great time, and practically everybody was here too, which was lovely – even Alex had made it tonight which alone was rather a lot more responsible for his very elated mood than he’d admit– speaking of…

“Oi, Kazza?” He elbows her at the bar, chatting animatedly to a good-looking young man Matt had seen around the studios a couple of times before.

“Smith-dog!” She turns to him and throws her arms round him like she hadn’t seen him for a month, ignoring that she’d sat next to him through the entire meal that had preceded the party.

“Blimy Kaz, slow down on the vodkas, yeah?” He teases, dislodging her from him. “You seen Kingston?”

“Oh,” she scrunches up her face in thought. “No! Not for ages!”

“Yeah, me neither come to think of it,” Arthur leans in on Matt’s other side to yell over the music. “She didn’t leave did she?”

Frowning, Matt shakes his head. “She wouldn’t have gone without saying – and not already – never known Alex to leave a party before the end!” Downing the rest of his beer, Matt puts his glass down on the bar, clapping Arthur on the shoulder. “I’m gonna go look for her.” He eyes Karen, draping herself over her new gentleman friend and he and Arthur share a look. “Keep an eye, yeah?”

“Don’t I always?” Arthur sighs, resigned.

Matt finds Alex outside, sitting on the outside steps of the rear fire exit alone. The sound of music, chatter and laughter dulls to muffled background noise as the door swings shut behind him. Alex doesn’t look round, even when he clears his throat.

Eyeing the bottle of wine and half-empty glass next to her, Matt approaches, sitting himself down quietly on her other side.

“Wondered where you’d got to,” he says, affectionately bumping her shoulder with his own.

Alex doesn’t reply; she merely sighs, as if disappointed her hiding place had been discovered. A pause settles between them as he waits for her to speak but after several moments it becomes apparent she isn’t going to.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” he comments.

Alex takes another long drag from her cigarette. “I don’t.”

Another few moments of silence pass between them, and Alex raises the glass next to her to her lips and drains the last half of it in two gulps, before setting it back down and clumsily topping it back up with the bottle next to it.

Matt swallows and licks his lips nervously. “Are you okay, Alex?”

She takes another drag of her cigarette. “I’m fine.”

He shuffles a bit closer to her. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly, leaning in.

Alex glances at him and shakes her head, blowing out a puff of smoke. “Nothing you need to concern yourself about, darling,” she replies quietly.

Matt licks his lips, starting to feel a bit nervous around this sad, quiet Alex, sitting outside alone drinking and smoking when there was a party in full swing inside. Alex had always been the life of any party he’d ever attended in which she was present at before.

“People are missing you inside,” he tries.

Alex scoffs quietly. “I’m sure everyone’s just fine.”

“And…” He clears his throat, peering at her closely. “You’re fine?”

She picks up her glass and takes a large gulp. “Perfect.” Setting it down, she turns her head. “Go back inside, darling. Enjoy the party,” she tells him.

But he can’t just _leave her_ , sitting alone here, smoking and drinking and obviously upset. He watches as she finishes the glass and picks up the bottle again, slopping more wine into it but missing mostly and pouring a good deal of it all over the step.

“Shit,” she mutters, clumsily setting the bottle back down and nearly knocking it over when it wobbles.

“Alright – Alex,” Matt says, gently attempting to take the glass from her hand. “I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”

Alex stares at him, disbelief and anger in her expression. “Sorry, what?” She scoffs, holding tight to her glass and yanking it away from him. “I don’t mean to be rude Matt, but what the hell makes you think you have the right to tell me when I’ve had enough!?” She demands, her angered tone making him gape at her, wide eyed. Alex had _never_ spoken to him like that – he’d never heard Alex speak to _anyone_ like that – not when she wasn’t acting – she was always sweet and kind and bubbly and it just wasn’t in her nature to snap at anybody.

He frowns and lets go of the glass. “Because I’m your friend. And I care about you. And you’re clearly already intoxicated Alex, and I don’t think anybody sitting alone drinking themselves silly when they are upset is ever a good idea.”

She scowls at him before looking away and gulping down another mouthful of wine. “You don’t even know me,” she mumbles quietly, mostly under her breath as she looks away to take another drag from her cigarette but Matt hears the words clear as day, and they cut straight to his heart, like a slap in the face.

He swallows. “I’ve known you for three years, Alex. And I care about you – I know that much.”

She snorts softly and he frowns further.

“What – you don’t believe me?”

A short, stiff silence settles between them as Alex takes another gulp of her wine, face turned away from him. “You’re sweet, Matt,” She speaks again, voice softer now but dry, empty.

He thinks she is going to continue but when she does not, simply takes a long drag from her cigarette, he clears his throat and edges a bit closer, daring to rest a gentle hand on her back.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” He asks softly.

She sighs, and shakes her head, tapping ash off the end of her cigarette with a finger.

“It’s just… all these people I know… everyone here… everyone’s with someone. I’ve spent most of the evening being introduced to people’s other halves. And here’s me.” She takes another drag and blows it out above her head. “Alone.”

Brow furrowing in compassion, Matt bumps his shoulder gently with hers. “I’m not with someone. I’m here alone too Kingston.”

She scoffs at that, shaking her head a little bitterly. “You could have any single girl you’d fancy in the room darling. You’re young, you’re… you’re just temporarily single. Me…” Another drag and she coughs a little on it this time. “I’m starting to think this is it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Matt mutters.

She lets out a huff, scowling at her cigarette as if it’s its fault as she taps the ash off the end. “Nothing’s turned out the way I’d always hoped. I mean,” she scoffs, “Look at me. I’m nearly fifity years old, and I’m a single mum with two failed marriages, my daughter in one country and my work and life in another, and it just hit me… it’s never gonna get any better. I mean… when things have been bad before I’ve always got myself through by telling myself things would get better but… this is it now, isn’t it. This is my life.”

A bit unnerved by this side of her, Matt helplessly feels a burning desire to make it all better. “Alex,” he tries, “You have a wonderful daughter, and a fantastic job – Who isn’t over and you’re still getting offered great roles all the time aren’t you?”

Alex is shaking her head, “Yes but – I’m _alone_ , aren’t I? I’ve ended up alone. And I’ve been hanging on, waiting – I just kept hoping and telling myself it was just for now, that I’d meet someone, that things would work out but… I’m never going to am I? Not now. This is it now.”

When he realises she has started to cry a bit of proper panic sets in, his chest constricting at the sight of her sitting here next to him so upset. Moving his arm fully round her shoulders, he tugs her into his side with a gentle, “Hey – hey now, don’t do that…” He wraps his other arm around her to soothingly rub her opposite arm. She curls into him instinctively, turning her head into his shoulder and sniffling softly for a few moments before she seems to get a hold of herself and extracts herself from his arms.

“I’m sorry,” she tries to laugh a bit, looking embarrassed a she wipes at her cheeks with the palm of the hand she clutches the cigarette between her fingers in.

“It’s alright,” he says quietly, still feeling rather helplessly at sea.

She takes another drag and he notices how her hand shakes as she holds the cigarette to her lips.  

Swallowing, he runs a hand through his hair and clears his throat softly. “Any man would be damned lucky to have you, Kingston,” he says gently, bumping her shoulder with his. She sighs and he goes on. “Really. Look at you –“

“Yeah look at me,” she snorts, interrupting him and he frowns.

“Hey – I mean it. You’re… you’re kind, and clever and so, so bloody talented and amazing at what you do.”

He sees her roll her eyes, still looking away from him, and then she seems to remember the wine glass in her hands and raises it to her lips to take another gulp. His eyes are drawn down to her throat, watching it flex as she swallows and he licks his lips, swallowing himself.

“And you’re beautiful,” he says, quieter. She glances at him at that, eyebrow quirked as in disbelief.

“That’s sweet of you Matt but –”

“You are,” he says firmly, reaching over to place a hand on her arm. “You’re sodding gorgeous and – and sexy as hell and you don’t look anywhere _near_ your age – _and,”_ he says, cutting her off when she opens her mouth to protest, “I don’t know any man in his right mind who wouldn’t be attracted to you.”

She is quiet then, frowning as she looks down into her glass.

He sighs and shoves a hand through his hair, turning his head from her. “And I wish you’d believe me.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, and another silence settles between them that stretches out as she sips quietly from her wine glass and finishes her cigarette, the dulled sounds of the music and party inside thumping behind them juxtaposed to the utter stillness of the night that stretches out before them over the empty, silent car park.

All of a sudden, Alex drains her glass, puts it down and turns to him. “You wanna have sex?” She slurs.

Matt’s eyes bulge. “Wh-what!” He squeaks out.

Alex edges closer to him on the step, swaying towards him, eyes on his lips and a hand dropping to his thigh. She lists forward as if to kiss him but Matt (as much as it _pains_ him to do it) flails his arms out and grips her shoulders quickly before she can get there.

“Kingston,” he says, gently but firmly (although his voice trembles), “You’re drunk.”

“And you’re _sexy –_ and I’ve always thought so you know?” She squeezes his thigh and he swallows. “An’ I’ve seen the way you look at me darling and clearly I wasn’t imagining it all so… let’s do it.”

“Alex!” He tries, panicked as he grabs her wrist to stop her hand’s ascent up his thigh, trying to scramble away from her as she sways in in another attempt for a kiss. “You’re _drunk_ , you –“

Grabbing him by the collar, she hauls him to her suddenly and kisses his open mouth with a remarkable amount of skill even for somebody intoxicated. It takes a few seconds for his brain to kick in after the sensation of her tongue wrapped round his shuts it down, and when he finally comes to her senses he reels back with a gasp, holding her by the shoulders, his eyes wide as he splutters out a, “Bloody hell Alex – _no_ , we – we can’t do this!”

She blinks at him for a few seconds before, “Oh God,” she whimpers, and he watches as her face scrunches up before she turns from him to bury it in her hands, beginning to cry softly again. “You don’t want me – I’m sorry darling,” she whimpers into her hands, shoulders shaking with soft sobs. “I’m so sorry – I’m such a _mess_ …”

“What? Alex – no -” Matt’s hands flail between them, not knowing what to do and feeling panic rise inside him at the sight of once again, a crying Alex. “No, no – don’t – don’t cry, please – I’m sorry…”

Nervously, he shuffles closer to her and places a tentative arm back round her shoulders. She leans into his embrace, giving another quiet distraught sounding sob. “Of course you don’t want me,” she whimpers, and the sound is so heart-breaking his chest tightens more. He turns his face into her hair, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, pressing a firm kiss to the top of her head.

“I couldn’t take advantage of you while you’re like this, Alex,” he tries to explain gently, rubbing her shoulder soothingly. “You’re upset and you’ve had too much to drink and – and It’s not that I don’t want you but –“

“It’s okay darling,” she says softly, lifting her head from his shoulders and turning her face away to wipe at her eyes, but he keeps his arm round her. “You don’t have to explain, M’just –” She huffs, closing her eyes tightly as if she is ashamed of herself. “You’re right I’ve had too much to drink, m’so sorry…” She whispers, and he tightens his hold on her.

“I’m taking you home,” he decides after a minute, beginning to extract himself from her arms to stand them both up. “Come on – there’s cabs out front.”

“Matt,” Alex starts shaking her head as he stands and tries to tug her to her feet. “No, no – darling, no – go and enjoy the party I’m – I’m _fine_ ,” she babbles thickly, sniffing hard and wiping her face on her sleeve.

“Yeah, you look it,” he rolls his eyes patiently, finally managing to get her upright. She sways dangerously and he quickly grabs both her arms to keep her from toppling  over.

“Shit,” she curses, “I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright,” he tells her, winding a strong arm round her waist and guiding her down the stairs. “I’ve got you.”

He walks her round the building to where the taxis are waiting out the front, somewhat slowly due to Alex wobbling dangerously in her heels, and manages to bundle her into a cab, shutting her door before hurrying round and sliding in the other side. The driver asks for directions and Matt nudges Alex who has already leaned her head against the back of the seat and has her eyes closed like she is drifting off.

“Love?” He says gently, “Where are you staying?”

“Oh,” her brow furrows. “Mmm… a hotel, umm… fuck…” She swears when she obviously cannot recall the name of it, and sighing, Matt rubs a hand over his forehead.

“Never mind, I’ll take you back to mine.” He leans forward to give the driver the address for his flat before sitting back and buckling his belt.

“Alex,” he nudges her again. “Put your seatbelt on.”

“Oh.” She reaches round to tug at it clumsily and he takes it from her and clicks it in. She snuggles into the corner of the cab as they drive through London, and appears to fall asleep and Matt finds he can’t take his eyes off her, studying her quietly in the dulled flickering lights from outside falling over her as they drive. He jerks a bit when the cab pulls up outside his flat, shaking himself a little and clearing his throat, leaning forward to pay the fare before undoing Alex’s belt too and climbing out to open her door and lean in her side.

“Alex?” He nudges her gently. “We’re here.”

She makes a sleepy noise, blinking her eyes open, and goes easily as he guides her out of the cab, thanking the driver and closing the door. He takes her purse for her and wraps an arm round her waist to help her walk again, and it isn’t until they are inside his flat and he’s sitting her down on his settee that she looks up at him and blinks.

“Matt?” She says, as if she’s only just realised who’s company she’s in. “Where are we?”

“My flat.”

“Oh…” Her brow creases in a frown as she looks down at her hands and he shifts on his feet, feeling a bit lost again for a moment – Alex had always been so… _together_ , and of the two of them, it was usually her looking after him in some way – assuring him he could do it that first week on set when he’d been terrified out of his wits, consoling him after his break-up with Daisy, cheering him up when Karen and Arthur moved on, sitting him down and talking with him for hours when he’d come to her for advice when he’d been considering leaving the show…

He swallows, shoving a hand through his hair. “I’ll uh – I’ll get you a glass of water,” he mutters before hurrying off to the kitchen.

When he returns she has curled herself into the corner of his settee but looks up when he enters and smiles at him, pulling herself upright as he pushes the glass into her hands. She takes a sip before leaning over to put it down.

“You need to drink it, Kingston,” he tries to push it back towards her but she shakes her head, setting it a bit clumsily on the table next to his settee.

“Don’t want it.”

“Alex –

She takes hold of his hand and tugs him down to her, the unexpected movement causing him to lose his balance and land on the settee with her, only just managing to catch himself on the arm beside her and not tumble down on top of her.

Apologising, he tries to move away but Alex surprises him utterly when she fists two small hands in his hair and drags his mouth to her own. Stunned once again into stillness against her, Matt forgets how to _think_ for a moment as she kisses him deeply, moaning into his mouth and – God help him – writhing beneath him, wriggling herself until he somehow ends up braced over her with her legs cradling his hips. She tilts her hips up into his, hands slipping to the buttons on his shirt and it is then he comes to his senses, and scrambles off her with a gasp.

“Shit, Alex, what the fuck!? I – we – we can’t…”

Staring at her in a panic as she lays sprawled over his sofa, hair a mess and lips swollen, Matt feels his body immediately react and shakes his head hurriedly, inching further away from her as she blinks up at him, eyes wide and confused.

“Matt? I – I thought…”

Yanking at his clothes with shaking hands, he stares at her. “You thought what?”

She drags herself upright. “You… you brought me to your flat…?”

“Oh… _fuck_.” He closes his eyes, shaking his head tensely, knowing that this rejection is going to hurt her… _again_. “Alex, I’m sorry, no…” He edges closer to take her hands in one of his own, raising the other to cup to her cheek. “You couldn’t remember what hotel you were staying at, remember?” He tells her gently, thumb stroking over her cheek as she stares at him with wide, unfocused eyes, swaying where she sits. “So I brought you back here… I just…”

She blinks. “Oh…”

“Crap,” he shoves a trembling hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Alex, I didn’t mean for you to – to get the wrong impression – and – and I’m sorry for letting you kiss me like that, I should have –”

“It’s okay,” she whispers, avoiding his eyes now, looking down at their hands in her lap. “Can I…” She swallows and shakes her head. “I think I want to sleep…”

“Right, yes,” he nods, beginning to get up. “I’ll take you to bed. – To sleep! I – I mean I’ll help you there, and – and leave you to sleep…”

Alex nods as he pulls her to her feet and guides her down the hallway to his spare bedroom before she tells him she needs the loo and so he shows her into the bathroom, hovering outside until she’s done before he helps her back to the bedroom.

“Right then,” he says, waving awkwardly towards the bed. “You be alright now?”

Nodding, Alex crosses the room, unzipping her dress and stepping out of her heels, and Matt spins away from her, cheeks flushing when she shrugs the garment to the floor and clambers under the duvet in just a pair of knickers. Hearing her settle down with a sigh, he turns back to see her snuggled beneath the covers, eyes already closed.

“You alright, Kingston?”

“Mmm,” she hums, then her brown creases in a frown and she rolls onto her side with a groan. “Ugh. Feel sick.”

“I’m not surprised,” Matt sighs, grabbing the bin in the corner and crossing the room to place it by her bed. “Here – if you need to be sick, okay?”

“Mmm,” she mumbles again, eyes still closed as she nods tiredly.

“Alex?”

She doesn’t reply, already passed out, and Matt hovers by the bed, biting his lip worriedly as he watches her breathing even. He isn’t sure he should just leave her, and so, kicking his shoes off moves over to the chair in the corner of the room and sits down. He’ll just stay until he’s sure she isn’t going to throw up and choke herself in her sleep...

He watches her in the quiet of the darkened room as he sits with her, her head lolled to the side and mouth open, arms and legs splayed across the bed, and even like this, passed out drunk with makeup smeared all over her face, Matt cannot help but think how utterly beautiful she looks. He sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head. It would have been _so easy_ to let her have her way with him tonight – God knows he wanted it – he’s wanted her since the moment he laid eyes on her. But Matt would be a fool to think a woman like her would ever have any real interest in a man like him, and Matt is no fool, and Alex has come to mean more to him than that. Yes, he fancies her like mad but he’s always known that case is a hopeless one, and Matt has come to care for her truly - as far as she will let him – as a friend, he supposes. And if he’d slept with her while she was drunk and upset and lonely that friendship and trust would have been ruined.

He just hopes his rejection didn’t hurt her further – because, taking into account the reason for her sadness, rejection had been the last thing she’d needed that night. With a bit of luck, Alex just won’t remember the best part of this in the morning.

He watches her until he is happy she will be okay, and then sits a bit longer because he finds he can’t take his eyes off her, her peaceful face, the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she sleeps… and before long, Matt falls asleep in the chair. 


	2. Chapter 2

_Pain._ Blinding pain is all Alex is aware of – and she hasn’t even opened her eyes yet. She groans, placing a hand over them and tentatively opening them to peer through a gap in her fingers. However, when her eyes settle on unfamiliar surroundings, she shoots upright with a start, immediately regretting it and pressing a hand to her head in agony.

“Fuck,” she whispers, as she looks round, heart beginning to hammer as she tries to remember where she is.

Drinking outside the party on her own… then Matt sitting next to her… Matt… her kissing Matt – her kissing Matt again on his sofa…

“ _Fuck!_ Oh… shit. Shit, shit, fuck, crap, oh God, please no…”

“Good morning to you too Kingston,” Comes an amused voice from the doorway, and Alex jumps, whipping her head round to see Matt standing there in joggers and a faded t-shirt, steaming cup in his hand. She clutches the duvet to her chest and scrambles a bit more upright in the bed, eyes wide as she stares at him in the doorway.

Clearly noting her panic, he motions to the cup in his hand. “I brought you tea,” he tells her gently. “And paracetamol.” He crosses the room to hand the mug and the two white tablets to her.

“I’ll get you a glass of water,” he makes to leave but she shakes her head, shoving the two tablets in her mouth and washing them down with a gulp of hot tea. She takes a deep breath and raises her eyes to Matt.

“I’m in your bed,” she says quietly, voice small and worried.

He shakes his head. “You’re in my guest room.”

“Oh…” She blinks at him. “Does – that mean –…”                    

“Nothing happened.”

She feels relief flood through her, but, having some very vivid memories of something that most definitely wasn’t _nothing_ , she looks down, fiddling with her mug. “I remember kissing you,” she admits quietly.

“Yes…” Matt looks a bit awkward, shifting on his feet before her. “But that was it. We didn’t… it was just a kiss.”

She frowns, glancing up at him. “Two kisses.”

“Well…” He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah. But they were just kisses, Alex, that’s it…”

Alex watches him carefully. “Are you telling me the truth?”

He sighs, perching on the edge of the bed. “Yes. I just – I didn’t want to remind you if you hadn’t remembered… you were um – quite upset…”

“…Oh.” She looks down again, the events coming back to her a little clearer and she feels the embarrassment she’d felt from his rejections last night come back, except without the haze of alcohol to dull them. Her cheeks colour, and Matt clearly notices her discomfort because he gets up from the bed, clearing his throat.

“I’ll uh – I’ll leave you to drink your tea. I’ve left you a shirt and some joggers on the chair – I expect they’ll be a little large but I thought you might not want to get back into your dress –“

“They’ll be fine, thank you,” she cuts him off and he nods.

“I’ll make us some breakfast. Come to the kitchen when you’re ready.”

“Thanks Matt,” she says softly, still unable to look him in the eyes, and he mumbles a ‘sure’ and leaves the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Alex closes her eyes and mentally berates herself for every _stupid_ thing she said and did last night.

When she pads into his kitchen twenty minutes later he is buttering toast, and she clears her throat as she stands on the threshold, tugging his shirt down where it hangs to mid-thigh - the joggers had been huge so she hadn’t bothered, but feels like maybe she should have done when his eyes slip down over her form, feeling suddenly terribly self-conscious hovering in his kitchen in the morning in just his shirt. He seems to give himself a little shake and grins at her.

“There you are, feeling any more alive?”

“A little,” she says, moving forwards as he pulls out a stool at the counter for her and motions to it.

“Toast?” He asks as she sits down. “Or – or I have eggs, and some sausages in the fridge I think if you want – no bacon though sorry – but I can do an omelette, or –“

“Just toast is fine, thanks.”

He nods. “Right. Coming up. Another tea or coffee?”

“Um – tea – please, thank you,” she mumbles, and sits at his kitchen counter fiddling with the long sleeves of his shirt as he clatters about in front of her. After a few moments, she clears her throat.

“Matt?”

He glances over at her from stirring sugar into a mug.

“I’m er…” She lets out a short, nervous laugh, shoving a hand through her tangled curls. “I’m _really_ sorry about last night, I –”

“Alex,” he cuts her off sharply, pausing suddenly in what he’s doing to fix her with a firm look. “There is nothing to be sorry for.”

Another nervous laugh, as she looks down at the cuffs of his shirt. “I think there is, darling.”

“No,” he says firmly, going back to stirring the tea. “There isn’t.” He crosses the kitchen to slide the steaming mug in front of her and she wraps her hands round it gratefully, but he doesn’t let go, forcing her to raise her eyes to his inquisitively, finding them burning into her. “Alright?”

Mouth closing, she nods, and he moves his hand to hers over the mug, squeezing it briefly before he moves away, opening the fridge. “I was worried, you know. Seeing you like that.” He glances at her. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asks gently.

Looking down at her tea she shakes her head quickly. “It’s nothing – really. I just had a bit too much to drink and let myself get upset. I’ll be fine, darling.”

He nods, looking unconvinced, but doesn’t push her. “Alright.”

He joins her with toast for both of them after a minute, but Alex doesn’t really feel like eating much of hers. She has couple of bites before apologising for not being hungry.

She swallows and clears her throat. “Can I take a shower?”

In the bathroom, Alex throws up the contents of her stomach – thankfully mostly liquid – into the toilet, and feels further ashamed of herself for drinking so much. She was more than old enough to know her damn limits by now and Alex hadn’t thrown up due to drinking past them in _years_.

Still, at least she now feels a little better for having done so, and even more so when she’s washed her mouth out thoroughly– Matt doesn’t appear to have a spare toothbrush in his cabinets so she settles for lots of mouthwash and gurgles with it until it is all she can taste.

Alex strips off and steps into the large double shower, turning it on, and immediately yelping and jumping from under the spray when the hot water nearly scalds her skin. Frowning she fiddles with the knobs on his shoulder but can’t seem to do anything but alter the force of the water coming out. Frustrated, she is just about to give up and run a bath when she hears  a knock on the door.

“Alex? I’m leaving a towel outside the door for you, okay?”

“Okay – um – Matt!”

“Yeah?”

“Hold on –” Stepping out of the shower she grabs his shirt and holds it up to her, covering her front. “Can you just come in a second, I – I can’t work your shower…”

She hears him chuckle and the door opens, but Matt stops laughing when he sees her, his eyes widening a bit and flickering down over her. “Um –“

“I, er…” She chuckles, embarrassed, tucking the shit tightly under her arms. “Sorry – I can turn it on but I can’t work out how to change the temperature and it’s scalding…”

“Oh,” he gives a nervous laugh of his own and crosses the small bathroom to the shower, leaning into the cubicle to show her. “There’s another little bit on the back to turn, see?” He turns it on and moves the bit he’s showing her around, his other hand under the spray to check the temperature as she moves over to see.

“Ah,” she laughs. “Sorry – not really with it today.” She sticks her hand under the running water. “That’s better. How do you shower in how it was before, it was boiling hot!”

He chuckles, shrugging. “I like it hot,” says, his eyes catching hers as he glances at her and Alex feels her breath catch in her throat. She is suddenly very aware of their proximity and the fact that she’d propositioned him last night (twice) and that she currently has only a shirt pressed to her front… Matt’s eyes flicker away from her and she is just about to step away from him when she notices them widen, his lips parting as he stares over her shoulder and she falters, and glances behind her –

To meet his eyes in the wall length mirror. She squeaks and spins away, back pressing to the shower and Matt jerks suddenly and averts his eyes, hand pressed to them as he stumbles back. “Shit, Alex I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – to uh… I –” The rest of his stammered sentence is cut off when he stumbles over the edge of the shower behind him and trips backwards, flailing, slipping, and just managing to catch himself before he falls right down, sprawling against the back wall of the shower and utterly drenched.

“Oh God darling – are you okay!?”

“Ow,” He says, rubbing his elbow, “Yeah…” He looks down at his soaked clothes and glances back up at Alex and simultaneously, they both start laughing. “Shit, I’m bloody drowned,” He chuckles, holding his hands out as he stands fully under the spray of the shower again. Giggling, Alex moves over to him, reaching into the shower with the hand not clutching the shirt to her to take hold of his arm, turning it over to look at his elbow. It’s a bit scraped and rather red but, “You’ll live,” she smiles at him, and without thinking, leans down to brush a gentle kiss to the mark. Matt goes very still, and when she lifts her head to look up at him he is watching her closely, eyes wide, and she realises how very unclothed she is, and how very close they are standing an how very damned sodding _delicious_ he looks half under the spray of the shower and soaking wet from head to –

“God - I’m sorry Matt,” She mumbles, cutting thoughts she shouldn’t be having off, looking down, suddenly feeling indescribable guilty.

“Sorry?” He chuckles. “I think falling over was my own fault Alex – and – I’m the one who should be sorry for – for looking –”

“No,” she shakes her head quickly, glancing up at him again as she says slowly, “ _I’m_ sorry…” she sighs and averts her eyes from his burning gaze again. “First I throw myself at you – twice – and then you were kind enough to take me back to your flat because I was so drunk I couldn’t remember where I was staying –” He opens his mouth to argue but she hurries on. “And you probably had to look after me half the night - and then I go and give you an eyeful and such a shock that you – you trip and fall into your shower, and…” She is horrified when tears fill her eyes – but the mortification is cut abruptly short when Matt suddenly pushes a hand into her hair, steps in and kisses her.

Her mind goes blank for a few seconds, until it kicks in that his lips are on hers, the length of his hot, wet body presses against her own, soaking her quickly through the thin shirt pressed to her front, both his wet hands now in her hair, his tongue stroking over her lips and begging them to part and –

With a gasp, she pulls back, turning her face away.

“Shit,” Matt curses immediately, face flushing as he makes to step away, “I’m sorry, I thought –“

But she shakes her head, clutching onto his arms tightly. “It’s not that, it - I - I threw up earlier…” she explains with a little embarrassment as she avoids his eyes.

“Oh. So… you…”

She risks another look back up at him, lip caught between her bottom teeth, and tilts her head, utterly confused. “Last night… it wasn’t… - I thought… I thought you didn’t want me…” She finally manages to get out and he frowns, and tersely shakes his head once.

“You were drunk.”

Her wide eyes search his anxiously, and she dares to step a bit closer, heart pounding. “I’m not drunk now…” She whispers.

“No,” he agrees, eyes sweeping down over her form. He licks his lips and steps in a bit closer. “And you are… you’re sodding _beautiful_ Alex… and I can’t stand that you can’t see how wonderful you are… I want to kiss you again…” He admits, voice low and hoarse, and Alex feels her heart pound faster.

She swallows. “Me too,” she whispers. “But – I – I couldn’t find a toothbrush and…” She trails off, and Matt nods and moves from her, reaching up to the top cabinet she hadn’t noticed by the shower and rummaging in it.

“Sure I bought a new one the other week actually… ah! Here.”

She takes it from him with a smile and turns from him, tucking the shirt under her arms as she reaches for the toothpaste by the sink, fully aware that the entire expanse of the back of her naked form is now on view to him. She hears him inhale sharply, and bites down on her lip as she turns on the tap and squeezes toothpaste onto the brush.

Alex takes her time brushing her teeth, her eyes catching his in the mirror over and over – when he isn’t unashamedly ogling her nude form.

When she’s done she spits out the toothpaste and turns the tap off, turning back to face him, leaning back against the counter and taking her bottom lip between her teeth. They watch each other for a few seconds, before Matt speaks.

“The shower’s still on,” He says obviously.

She nods. “I was just about to take one.”

Matt glances down at his soaked self. “I wasn’t.”

She giggles then, and pushes away from the counter, moving towards the shower and pausing in front of it to turn to look at him. “You should get out of those wet clothes,” She says softly.

“I probably should,” He agrees. “And –” He licks his lips, “Since I’m wet already, I thought I may as well shower now too…”

A smile tugs at the corners of her lips. “You might as well.”

Holding his gaze, she drops the shirt to the floor, allowing him only a second to rake his eyes down over her form before she turns her back to him and steps under the hot spray of the shower. Facing the wall, Alex tilts her head back and lets the deliciously warm water cascade over her; hands moving over her form and up to push her wet hair from her face. She can hear the dull thwack of wet clothes hitting the floor behind her and smiles, eyes shut as she enjoys the warmth of the water, until she feels two large, warm hands slide round her waist and a cool, naked body press to her back.

Matt slides the shower door shut behind them and Alex leans back into him, hands coming to rest over his arms and they just stand there for a moment, pressed together under the hot spray of the shower. His hands start to move, fingertips caressing her flesh softly and she sighs, feeling her body come alive under his touch, a tingling dancing over her skin where he touches her, fire awakening in her belly.

“ _Alex_ ,” he breathes into her wet curls, hand roaming over the soft skin of her stomach and hips as the hot water cascades down over them. She whimpers quietly, trembling all over with the ache building inside her, the need for him to _touch her_ , and she tilts her head back against his shoulder, moving one hand behind to rest on the bare, smooth skin of his hip, fingers curling into him in a silent plea.

His hand slides down, and his fingers – finally – find the hot slick flesh between her legs. She moans, head tilting back further as she parts her legs, hips rocking down into the pressure. He traces his fingers up through her folds, caressing her slowly, teasingly at first, before the pad of his middle finger brushes over her clit and her hips jerk. She feels his smile into her hair, hears his breathing hot and heavy in her ear as he flicks his finger again – and again over the pleasure spot before circling it quickly and making her give a long, keening moan, thighs quivering.

“Matt,” She gasps, nails digging into his hips, her back arching as she moves her other hand up and into his hair, pulling his mouth down to her neck and running her fingers through the wet locks as he opens his mouth and sucks on her skin, fingers still working between her legs.

He teases her for a moment longer, before she feels him grind his erection against her, a seemingly involuntary movement judging by the barely suppressed grunt and gasp against her skin. His hands moving from her, he takes her own hands gently by the wrists, and moves them to the wall in front of them, bracing one of her palms flat against the tiles and guiding her other hand to the metal fixture of the shower, curling her fingers round a bar and murmuring against her skin, “Hold on tight.”

Bent forward a little by her new position, Alex whimpers, another tremble going through her body at his words, and she parts her legs a bit more and tilts her hips back, moaning through an open mouth when the hot, water slickened length of him slides against her sex.

Placing one hand flat on the small of her back to tilt her to him just a little bit more, Matt leans forward to slide the other round her stomach, supporting her a little more before his tip presses against her, and he pushes himself slowly inside.

They both moan as he fills her, Alex’s head dropping forward, wet curls tumbling down round her face as she feels herself stretch deliciously to accommodate him. A quip comes to the tip of her tongue about being sorry she’d ever teased him for the ‘majestic’ comment, but words fail her when he pulls almost all the way out, and pushes back into her again, going quicker, deeper this time. Her mouth open, she moans, fingers curling into the tiles as he begins to set a deep, steady rhythm.

She is panting in moments, pressure already building in her lower body, and judging by the way Matt increases his rhythm quickly, his own breathing ragged behind her, he is experiencing equally intense sensations. Her legs quiver, and her body sings with pleasure at the feel of him inside her, stroking her inner walls perfectly, filling her so completely and touching just the right place inside her each time.

All that can be heard is the sound of their heavy breathing and occasional whimpers and moans of pleasure, along with the subtle sound of wet flesh connecting over and over, all dulled by the noise of the shower, the water cascading down over them.

Gasping, she lets out a little high pitched sound as he hits that spot inside her again, thighs shuddering, and Matt , moving quicker still, with one hand still round her middle to keep her up, slides the other round  and between her legs, rubbing and pressing there until his fingers find her clit and she all but shrieks.

Alex wants to beg him not to stop, to tell him how good it feels, how perfectly he’s touching her, how she’s going to come apart for him any moment, but words fail her; the pleasure is so intense that it’s all she can do to keep herself on her feet, hands braced, and she doesn’t think she’d even have managed that if not for his arm round her. She throws her head back, mouth open as she cries out, desperately close to her climax, and his fingers press harder, urgent against her clit and he moves faster and harder still inside her until she is shattering around him, coming hard, shaking and crying out as the pleasure grips her and burns through her.

She feels Matt come inside her as she is coming down from her high, his hips fast and urgent, voice hoarse and beautifully throaty as he groans her name, and a little thrill goes through her at the sound of her name on his lips, spoken in such a way.

When he pulls out of her he pulls her upright and turns her, looking deeply into her wide eyes before pushing gentle hands into her wet hair and kissing her. The kiss is slow and deep, his mouth moving purposefully over her own, tongue pushing and stroking along hers and fingers wound tight in her curls as she grips his sides and moans softly into the kiss.

When he pulls back he rests his forehead against hers for a moment before moving back with a soft laugh.

“We should probably shower properly before the hot water runs out.”

Chuckling a bit too, Alex pushes wet curls from her face and nods, stepping out of his arms as Matt moves over a bit and turns the other shower head on, stepping under the spray. Alex reaches for the shower gel in the dish in front of her and begins lathering it over herself quickly, watching Matt out of the corner of her eye as he goes about washing himself. She feels suddenly a little strange; it hits her what’s just happened and that they’ve just changed everything between them and yet – Matt’s just going about washing, humming softly to himself as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. She bites her lip and frets.

Alex steps out after him, and Matt retrieves the towel he’d brought her and hands it to her with a poorly hidden smirk as he lets his eyes roam unashamedly over her bare, wet form. “Here you are.”

Thanking him quietly, she tucks the towel tightly round her, and turns to close the lid of the loo and perch herself on it, looking down at her lap and fiddling with the towel, a frown creased into her brow as Matt dries himself. 

“Matt,” she says softly, voice quiet and timid.

“Mm?”

She bites her lip, and appears to take a deep breath, before she whispers, staring down at her hands, “Please tell me that wasn’t just a pity fuck…”

He freezes, and when she lifts her eyes to find him staring at her, mouth open, she pulls the towel tighter round herself and turns away, chest tightening as she prepares for the rejection about to come. Tucking a wet curl behind her ear she shakes her head. “It’s fine – I – I don’t expect anything from you, it –”

But Matt cuts her off when he strides to her suddenly and drops to his knees in front of her. He takes both her hands in his own, brushing his thumbs over her skin and waiting until she glances up to meet his eyes.

“That was so much more than just a pity fuck.”

Brightening, Alex feels a smile come to her lips. “Yeah?”

He nods, squeezing her hands. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I met you, Alex,” he says quietly and her eyes widen. “I just… never thought you’d be interested… - and then last night – I thought it was just because you were drunk and upset and –”

“No,” she shakes her head, and then corrects herself. “I mean – yes, that was what made me kiss you but… I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wanted to before. Many times,” she admits quietly. She searches his eyes nervously for a second before swallowing and licking her lips. “When you say it was… so much more…” She trails off, letting her unfinished question hang in the air, heart beating against her ribcage beneath the towel she has tucked round her, and she is certain her hands would be trembling were they not clasped so tightly in Matt’s own.

He squeezes them tighter and edges a bit closer to her on his knees. He suddenly looks about as nervous as she and that gives her a little hope that she’s not embarrassingly over-assuming here…

“I mean, I _hope_ it could be…”

Her heart beats faster but she needs it to be clearer; needs to know exactly where she stands. “Hope it could be what? What does so much more mean Matt?” She asks quietly.

“It means… whatever you want it to.” Seeing her brow furrow at the very un-straight answer, he huffs out a breath and hangs his head. “I suppose what I’m trying to say,” he says to their joined hands, “Is that I... have feelings for you, Alex. I always have done. Feelings I hardly dared to even let myself entertain because I always thought the idea that you might reciprocate them was –”

“It’s not,” she cuts him off quickly, and he snaps his head up to look at her with eyes wide and suddenly filled with as much hope as her own.

He licks his lips. “Alex?”

“Yes?”

He clears his throat nervously, and she squeezes his hands reassuringly, biting down on her lip as she watches him carefully.

“Would you…”

“Yes…?”

“Would you, I mean, what I’m trying to ask is would you… fuck. I don’t know how to say it. ‘Go out with me’ sounds like I’m twelve doesn’t it? ‘Be my girlfriend’ is even worse and frankly that title doesn’t deserve you…”

She giggles, elated, and squeezes his hands again. “We could start with a date?” She suggests.

His whole face brightens. “Could we?”

Another giggle and she nods. “If you want to…”

“I do,” he nods enthusiastically, letting go of her hands to move forward more and cup her face. “I do want to,” he tells her, before leaning in and kissing her breathless, thumbs stroking over her cheeks until both are grinning so much they have to break apart. He rests his forehead against hers, and then pulls back suddenly when a tear tracks down her cheek and splashes onto his hand.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, alarmed,

She laughs, a bit embarrassed, and dashes at her cheeks with her hand. “Nothing – I’m happy, darling,” she smiles. “God,” she sniffs, giving another elated laugh. “If yesterday I’d have known that…” She shakes her head. “I should get drunk and cry all over men more often. Never knew that worked.”

Matt laughs and standing, tugs her to her feet, pulling her into his arms and bopping her on the nose with a finger. “Well at least give me a proper chance before you go trying it again, yeah?”

She grins, and leans up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "Deal." 


End file.
